The Breakdown | Prendergast to Pollock via Paris: winners and losers from rugby’s ultimate weekender

A 72-hour TV blizzard was a test of sofa stamina as Ireland and England shone while South Africa looked ominous

By Sunday night one question swamped all else. When does a diet of endless televised rugby become too much of a good thing? People are well used to three consecutive Six Nations games on “Super Saturday” but the weekend was on a whole new level. It must have ranked among the most relentless 72-hour blizzards of rugby broadcasting in the game’s history.

The Breakdown, naturally, was keen to get among it. Friday night’s Ireland v Argentina game on ITV had its moments, happily, although not as many as England A v Argentina on YouTube. On Saturday, with South Africa 45-0 up against Italy by half-time, there was a case for covering the screen with a Turin shroud. Either way it was time for the haka in Murrayfield before Scotland v New Zealand, subsequently interspersed with an absorbing Champ game between Cornish Pirates and Richmond on Clubber TV.

Enough left in the tank for Wales v Japan in Cardiff? Of course, though apart from Louis Rees-Zammit, Eddie James and Japan’s enduring spirit there were few lasting mental snapshots. Possibly because ITV were already preparing to whisk us away for the evening shift in Lyon featuring France and Fiji. Hard yards now, in between idly wondering if Tom Staniforth’s dodgy mullet has its own passport and wishing poor Romain Ntamack a speedy recovery.

Remembrance Sunday? A day of rest? No chance. Wallaby fans watching England v Australia at home must have switched off the TV in the dead of the night and stumbled back to bed, vainly hoping it was all a bad dream. Not forgetting the Rugby League World Cup, a clutch of second-tier Nations Cup games – how close Hong Kong came to beating the United States – Vannes beating Bordeaux in the French Top 14, a sprinkling of Prem Cup action and the ITV highlights show with Dan Biggar and Eddie Jones. By which point even the most patient spouse had long since taken the first available flight to a desert island.

Welcome to the first of this month’s four – count ’em! – full-fat rugby badger weekends. Great news, theoretically, but genuinely a test of stamina. Even later on Sunday night, with Mortimer and Whitehouse doing a relaxing spot of fishing in the Shetlands, there was no respite. Sorry, they’ve just caught what? Pollock! Aaaargh.

There is certainly a lot to sift through between now and this Friday, when France and South Africa saddle up again in Paris. Not least whether France will have any recognised fly-halves left to pick by the end of the month. The smart money is on Maxime Lucu wearing 10 outside Antoine Dupont against the Boks but if the visitors are in the mood France could call up Asterix, Obelix and their local druid Getafix and still have insufficient magic potion for the battle.

South Africa also have Sacha Feinberg-Mngomezulu who, given a bit of space, has the pace and eye for space to concern any defence. The autumn pecking order of Test-quality 10s is currently up for debate with Matthieu Jalibert, Ntamack, Ruben Love, Richie Mo’unga and Jack Crowley all injured, but the 24-year-old Feinberg-Mngomezulu feels like the coming man. The sight of a deflated Finn Russell being hauled off early against the All Blacks, in that context, was even more untimely, though if Russell had been operating behind the New Zealand pack he would have had a ball.

Other big winners? Ireland, for sure. They showed enough against a sub-par Argentina to suggest that Andy Farrell’s motivational alchemy is again doing its job, with Sam Prendergast looking more comfortable in the role of chief playmaker. And, also without question, England. Arguably it was what didn’t happen that best summed up their Sunday slicing of the Wallabies. They didn’t give away a single card of any colour and their defence looked impressive throughout (albeit against opponents who have seldom fired fewer attacking shots). How good, too, to see the talent they clearly possess finally being given its head.

It was the same with the aforementioned England A team, to the extent that Steve Borthwick, with injury fears surrounding Seb Atkinson and Immanuel Feyi-Waboso, could feasibly plonk Max Ojomoh straight into his midfield against Japan and pick Noah Caluori on the wing ahead of Will Joseph, Cadan Murley or Joe Marchant. Alternatively he could just extend his triumphant experiment against Australia, start Henry Pollock out wide and challenge him to become rugby’s ultimate hybrid threat. Even Jones, Japan’s vastly experienced head coach, might struggle to find an antidote.

The biggest losers? A listless, subdued Australia must be near the top of the podium, with their next game against Scotland in Edinburgh suddenly a defining one for their season. The Scots themselves failed to score a single second-half point against the All Blacks, with their head coach, Gregor Townsend, hinting darkly afterwards that no one is undroppable. It was undeniably another missed opportunity for a home side who have let slip too many of them.

Fiji and Italy, meanwhile, have not yet managed a victory or a bonus point between them. While it is nice to see rugby back in front of a primetime terrestrial audience, there is no disguising the fact this weekend’s average margin of victory across six Nations Championship matches was almost 30 points. After a while even diehard TV rugby junkies need a dash of last-quarter jeopardy. Otherwise even the most colourful occasions will eventually fade to grey.

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