Nurse offers 'out of the blue' to have surrogate baby for colleague

When Amanda Lewis gave birth to a surrogate baby girl, her role did not end when she handed her over to her biological parents.

Ms Lewis, who has two teenage daughters, has continued to occasionally breastfeed baby Evangeline and has spent hours expressing milk for her since she was born on August 3.

The little girl was delivered after a seven-hour labour at the Ipswich Hospital, west of Brisbane, where Ms Lewis worked with the baby's biological mother Bec Vallee for years as nurses.

Known as Eva, she weighed 3 kilograms after being born almost three weeks early.

Ms Vallee was diagnosed with nephrotic syndrome, a kidney disorder, at age 12.

She has had two kidney transplants — one donated by her mum at 17 and another about three years ago.

The second kidney came from a living, altruistic donor — a stranger who willingly gave up a kidney — as part of the Australian and New Zealand Paired Kidney Exchange Program.

Growing up, doctors warned her about the high risks to her of pregnancy with her medical condition.

After Bec married Ryan Vallee, they talked about adoption and becoming foster parents.

But about eight years ago, her older sister Sarah offered to be a surrogate for the couple and gave birth to their first daughter Ambrosia — who they call Bo — in 2019.

"We always thought that she would be our only child because of the rarity and incredible sacrifice that surrogacy is, especially in Australia, because it has to be an altruistic act," Ms Vallee says.

"I just never thought we would find someone willing to go again for us."

Unexpectedly, about three years ago, Ms Lewis phoned Ms Vallee to begin the conversation about becoming a surrogate to give Bo a sibling.

"We were work friends, but not intimate close friends. We didn't see each outside of work," Ms Vallee recalls.

"It was quite an emotional thought that I'd had someone step forward and offer me this completely, really completely, out of the blue.

"So, it was one of those life-changing phone calls. That's how the journey began."

At three months old, Eva wears a smocked dress that once belonged to her biological mum.

Ms Vallee, 37, says there are few gifts that can compare to someone carrying and giving birth to your child — except organ donation.

"It's a highly emotional experience," she says.

"I feel the two greatest sacrifices that another person can make for a friend or a relative or a person is to give an organ or to sacrifice their body to have a baby for someone else to grow their family.

"I have the incredible blessing of experiencing both things twice."

Statistics from the Australian and New Zealand Assisted Reproduction Database (ANZARD) reveal just how rare the gift of surrogacy is across the two countries.

Out of about 360,000 babies born in Australia and New Zealand annually, only about 100 are delivered to surrogate mums — less than 0.03 per cent.

In 2024, the latest data reported by ANZARD, based at the University of NSW, 103 babies were born to surrogates Down Under.

The year Bo was born in 2019, she was one of 73 surrogate babies delivered in Australia and New Zealand.

In the decade between 2015 and 2024, the lowest number of babies born to surrogate mothers in the two countries was 46 in 2016. The highest was 133 in 2022.

Only altruistic surrogacy is allowed in Australia.

Commercial surrogacy — where a surrogate is paid beyond reasonable expenses — is prohibited in every state and territory.

But the Australian Law Reform Commission is due to report on its review of surrogacy laws in the coming days.

Every year, Australian passports are issued to about 350 to 400 children born through overseas surrogacy, based on Department of Home Affairs figures.

For Ms Lewis, a mother to two teenage girls, her experience of being a surrogate for the Vallee family would not have meant as much had it been a commercial transaction.

"I've lived a very normal life and the thought that I've done something that is bigger than myself, internally, just makes me very happy, that I could be part of someone else's story and actually really help their life," she says.

"People are quite self-centred these days, but you can just step out and help someone and do something that's not the norm.

"While I understand that in other countries that people do do it for money, and all of that, I think for me, it would muddy the waters. I wouldn't have got out of it what I got out of it."

The 41-year-old says the experience has facilitated conversations with her teenage daughters Ella, 16, and Grace, 14, and their friends, about helping other people.

Husband Tom was also on board with her decision to become a surrogate.

"We have just set the foundations for us to have a really warm and loving friendship and bond through our whole families," Ms Lewis says.

"I would expect that I get to watch Eva grow up and just have that little sense of pride and go, you know, I just played a really nice piece of the puzzle to make that happen.

"For our family it has been so enriching."

She describes her relationship with Eva as a bit like being a grandparent.

"You kind of have the fun cuddles, but then you get to go," Ms Lewis says with a smile.

"That's how I think being a grandparent will be like.

"You are really heavily involved, but you don't have to do the nitty-gritties — the 3am waking up and rocking and all of that."

Ms Vallee and Ms Lewis have both been able to enjoy maternity leave together after Eva's birth.

Queensland Health maternity leave and the Federal Government's paid parental leave have allowed Ms Lewis to take six months off, giving her the opportunity to keep intermittently breastfeeding Eva and to express milk for her.

"I think if I would have gone back to work at say, six weeks, which is what a lot of surrogates do, I would not have been ready at all," Ms Lewis says.

"All your hormones, they're all still settling down and I think the feeding really helped with that side of things.

"It just has turned out to be this most amazing phase. It has allowed me to feed her and pump, and she's exclusively had my breast milk. That has been really important to me."

Asked whether she would be a surrogate again, Ms Lewis replied: "If I was 10 years younger, I potentially would. But not at 41."

However, the Vallees, who recently celebrated their 15th wedding anniversary, have not ruled out welcoming more children.

"We are just delighted by our two daughters, and we would love to adopt still," Mr Vallee says.

"We're just grateful for each day and the gift it is to have them in our lives."

Seven-year-old Bo is overjoyed to have a sibling.

"When I found out, it was the most amazing thing I ever felt," she says.

The Vallees picked the name Evangeline because it means "bringer of good news" and hope their story will inspire others to provide help to someone else in need.

"It might not be an organ donation or a surrogacy but each of us, every day, has the opportunity to say 'yes' to someone or something that we can be part of in healing or bringing life, hope, or even just a small amount of happiness," Ms Vallee says.

"The challenge for me is how to give back in the same way I've been given to."